Hi friends, for the past few days nothing kept me busy....hence couldnt scribble anything..now that am busy i thot i shall scribble!!
Now-a-days life is going very flat. just doing routine work. Coming to office and going from the office. For the past few days I’m thinking, is this the life? The question which doesn’t have answer. Every time when I’m thinking about this, I feel there is some thing to do in life but, I donno what is that..
I strongly believe that, behind every ones birth there is a good or bad to this world. but I donno whether I’m doing any good or at least am I doing any bad things….no not doing anything…then what’s the use of me for this world…
If once I realize what I’m thinking it’s really hilarious. Am I the only guy thinking like this or most of the people in this world also thinking the way which I’m. May or may not?
Every one of us thinking, I want to do this or I want to do that…but how many of us really doing what we want to do...Ofcourse I’m not giving exception to me. I’m also always thinking so many things…but doing nothing on any of those. that’s what life is all about..
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Saturday, June 7, 2008
Silent treatment!!
Oh!! A million thanks to every kind woman who inspired me on this topic... The "famous silent treatment" that women have forever ushered on the male species… The weapon that can penetrate hearts that even generous bottles of free alcohol couldn't... The weapon that my grand mom used effectively and passed on to my mom… The same weapon that my sister uses on her husband now and my mom secretly smiles, reveling in how the student has caught up with the master…
" Ladies and gentlemen ... my one tenth of wealth on one of womankind's most lethal strengths ..."
No trick of the book is as deceptive as this one. All you have to do is keep MUM!! Say nothing!!It's that simple. Ideally all of us should be able to do it, right? This is when the buzzer rings and the red bulb flashes. Wronggggg!!!! The Silent Treatment is a master's art. One which is subtley at its best... There are so many parameters and nuances - how long do you keep quiet, when do you start, how do you make the man realize that it's the silent treatment he is being subjected to and not just a peaceful day, what do you say to finally break the silence ... get it? What seems like a simple two step process (keep quiet, speak) is actually more complicated than tying your shoe laces with your arms tied behind your back. For starters, silence will not buy you the reaction of remorse you want to see in your man. Because just silence will reveal it instantly that you are upset and the man will start with his acts of seeking (or is it pleading) forgiveness pronto... The silent treatment is like coffee - real pleasure requires prolonged simmering. So the trick is to not be completely silent but instead, be decreasingly vocal…
"Wanna go out for dinner?" the man would ask.
"No," you reply. Not a word more. Don't explain anything. That’ll make him wonder if it's actually the beginning of the silent treatment or if it's just a terse reply.
"Wanna go for a movie?" he'll ask you soon, to reaffirm his fears.
"No," you reply again.That's when the man gets freaked out. He's almost sure that he is being served the mother of all doses but he still has a spec of doubt.
"Are you angry?" he'll ask.
Now you will be able to sense the urgency in his tone. Don't say NO this time. Just nod your head. Maybe add "No, I'm fine."
This is when the man officially freaks out. See… the reason why the silent treatment is so effective is because men never know what the woman is so angry for… It's the suspense that drives us nuts. Now all men know they screw up. More times than they should… So there are the guilty moments playing in their mind. However, they are just not sure which one blew his lady up!!!
"Is it because I drank at the office party?"
"Is it because I didnt remember which day of the week it is?"
"Is it because I called your mom fat and dad fatter? WHAT IS IT? Tell me. Tell me." They go berserk in no time. And that is amazing for the ladies. Without saying anything they figure out all the things they should've been angry for - and that just adds on to their aggression. At this point ladies, turn up the volume of the act. Start twitching your lips. Do the fake "I'm about to cry and my eyes are almost red" eye motion.Tears roll down as if they have a lifetime stock of glycerinein their eyebags!! Maybe even sniff and breathe a few sighs. That'll scare the crap out of the man. Coz as I mentioned, the beauty of the Silent Treatment is that men have no clue how severe their blunder is and how long the ordeal will continue… It's like watching a Hindi soap on TV - every week you think that the drama has reached its peak but things still go on for fourteen years!!!!
And finally the outburst... Don't mess that up ladies. Then you have a great movie with a lame climax. Don't just blurt out "You forgot our five month three day anniversary" and spoil the classic moment. Either shout out loud or shed a few tears when you finally speak - but whatever you do pose the crime back to him as a question --
"You don't know why I'm angry? Right! Ask yourself ..."
Yes, this will just blow up your man. Then he knows that he is standing in the face of a canon - just waiting for you to blow it up!! And then.... go for the kill.
Sorry men. The silent treatment does NOT work on the ladies. They just think it as a blissful silence. Also if done for long enough they don't serve you dinner and just say "If you were hungry, you should have just asked for food." Thanks to my friend atul who has inspired me in thinking on these lines...However i would like to mention that, guys...this friend has so much to say with jus living in with a women for a year now..think of his plight if he had to commit the foolishness of getting married to the same girl...Friend i think the best gift you could give her after a year of living in is to let her GO!! Am sure she will come back to you and thank you vehemently for the most noble thing you would have done in your lifetime!!
" Ladies and gentlemen ... my one tenth of wealth on one of womankind's most lethal strengths ..."
No trick of the book is as deceptive as this one. All you have to do is keep MUM!! Say nothing!!It's that simple. Ideally all of us should be able to do it, right? This is when the buzzer rings and the red bulb flashes. Wronggggg!!!! The Silent Treatment is a master's art. One which is subtley at its best... There are so many parameters and nuances - how long do you keep quiet, when do you start, how do you make the man realize that it's the silent treatment he is being subjected to and not just a peaceful day, what do you say to finally break the silence ... get it? What seems like a simple two step process (keep quiet, speak) is actually more complicated than tying your shoe laces with your arms tied behind your back. For starters, silence will not buy you the reaction of remorse you want to see in your man. Because just silence will reveal it instantly that you are upset and the man will start with his acts of seeking (or is it pleading) forgiveness pronto... The silent treatment is like coffee - real pleasure requires prolonged simmering. So the trick is to not be completely silent but instead, be decreasingly vocal…
"Wanna go out for dinner?" the man would ask.
"No," you reply. Not a word more. Don't explain anything. That’ll make him wonder if it's actually the beginning of the silent treatment or if it's just a terse reply.
"Wanna go for a movie?" he'll ask you soon, to reaffirm his fears.
"No," you reply again.That's when the man gets freaked out. He's almost sure that he is being served the mother of all doses but he still has a spec of doubt.
"Are you angry?" he'll ask.
Now you will be able to sense the urgency in his tone. Don't say NO this time. Just nod your head. Maybe add "No, I'm fine."
This is when the man officially freaks out. See… the reason why the silent treatment is so effective is because men never know what the woman is so angry for… It's the suspense that drives us nuts. Now all men know they screw up. More times than they should… So there are the guilty moments playing in their mind. However, they are just not sure which one blew his lady up!!!
"Is it because I drank at the office party?"
"Is it because I didnt remember which day of the week it is?"
"Is it because I called your mom fat and dad fatter? WHAT IS IT? Tell me. Tell me." They go berserk in no time. And that is amazing for the ladies. Without saying anything they figure out all the things they should've been angry for - and that just adds on to their aggression. At this point ladies, turn up the volume of the act. Start twitching your lips. Do the fake "I'm about to cry and my eyes are almost red" eye motion.Tears roll down as if they have a lifetime stock of glycerinein their eyebags!! Maybe even sniff and breathe a few sighs. That'll scare the crap out of the man. Coz as I mentioned, the beauty of the Silent Treatment is that men have no clue how severe their blunder is and how long the ordeal will continue… It's like watching a Hindi soap on TV - every week you think that the drama has reached its peak but things still go on for fourteen years!!!!
And finally the outburst... Don't mess that up ladies. Then you have a great movie with a lame climax. Don't just blurt out "You forgot our five month three day anniversary" and spoil the classic moment. Either shout out loud or shed a few tears when you finally speak - but whatever you do pose the crime back to him as a question --
"You don't know why I'm angry? Right! Ask yourself ..."
Yes, this will just blow up your man. Then he knows that he is standing in the face of a canon - just waiting for you to blow it up!! And then.... go for the kill.
Sorry men. The silent treatment does NOT work on the ladies. They just think it as a blissful silence. Also if done for long enough they don't serve you dinner and just say "If you were hungry, you should have just asked for food." Thanks to my friend atul who has inspired me in thinking on these lines...However i would like to mention that, guys...this friend has so much to say with jus living in with a women for a year now..think of his plight if he had to commit the foolishness of getting married to the same girl...Friend i think the best gift you could give her after a year of living in is to let her GO!! Am sure she will come back to you and thank you vehemently for the most noble thing you would have done in your lifetime!!
Monday, May 19, 2008
Oh calcutta!
I have been awed with the "City of Joy".May be because this place relates very close to my home state and the culturally strong people of this state adds flavour to the ambience of this green city.Life takes its own pace in this part of the world.People are legally and politically correct.They have strong and distinct likings;
Mustard Oil
Foodie
Football
Red Color
Communist
Sweets
Chats
Fish-Sweet water
Trams
The traffic here is unlike any other metropolis..you have a road which caters to all kind of transport right from a cyclerickshaw to the tram.And there doesn't seem to be much chaos.People wind up work 6 and beyond that they completely seem to focus on their domestic lives.I think it comes from the fact that,being in the eastern tip of the country the sunsets faster compared to any other city and hence people over a period of time have got used to this culture of winding up work by sunset.The other biggest inspiration to the city is the river hooghly which flows right across the city.Now that the city is getting lot of MNCs ,i just hope that the strong cultural hold doesn't die a natural death like that has happened to other metros in the country.Given a chance i would like to go back and bask myself in the glory of "city of joy".
Mustard Oil
Foodie
Football
Red Color
Communist
Sweets
Chats
Fish-Sweet water
Trams
The traffic here is unlike any other metropolis..you have a road which caters to all kind of transport right from a cyclerickshaw to the tram.And there doesn't seem to be much chaos.People wind up work 6 and beyond that they completely seem to focus on their domestic lives.I think it comes from the fact that,being in the eastern tip of the country the sunsets faster compared to any other city and hence people over a period of time have got used to this culture of winding up work by sunset.The other biggest inspiration to the city is the river hooghly which flows right across the city.Now that the city is getting lot of MNCs ,i just hope that the strong cultural hold doesn't die a natural death like that has happened to other metros in the country.Given a chance i would like to go back and bask myself in the glory of "city of joy".
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Chennai void-Filled
I myself am not a person who enjoys being in Chennai.But still i cant stop confessing the nicety of the city as told to me by others.It seems the wonder of Chennai is the poise and wisdom with which it straddles tradition and modernity.Its a city equally at ease with old and new,where the past flows almost seamlessly into the future.A city that values culture and commerce without diluting its commitment to either.
The city is a ancient cradle of learning-and today it seems to reap rich benefits in the form of being a hub for IT and financial majors apart from a manufacturing base for several auto giants from the world across.
Chennai has the ability to cherish the old and welcome the new bodies.Its known for embracing those who have chosen to make the city their home-many examples can be quoted from the Kollywood superstar to the veteran politician and longest serving CM in the past,none of them are from this city but they came..they saw and conquered.
This blog is dedicated to my favourite news read"Times Of India" which is launched in Chennai,where there is a premium placed on the written words.As they call it,its the "Final Frontier" within India,waiting to be conquered.With this launch TOI will be the largest circulated magazine in the world.Hope they fill in to the only void-Chennai hole at the earliest and grow leaps and bounds.Good luck!
The city is a ancient cradle of learning-and today it seems to reap rich benefits in the form of being a hub for IT and financial majors apart from a manufacturing base for several auto giants from the world across.
Chennai has the ability to cherish the old and welcome the new bodies.Its known for embracing those who have chosen to make the city their home-many examples can be quoted from the Kollywood superstar to the veteran politician and longest serving CM in the past,none of them are from this city but they came..they saw and conquered.
This blog is dedicated to my favourite news read"Times Of India" which is launched in Chennai,where there is a premium placed on the written words.As they call it,its the "Final Frontier" within India,waiting to be conquered.With this launch TOI will be the largest circulated magazine in the world.Hope they fill in to the only void-Chennai hole at the earliest and grow leaps and bounds.Good luck!
Post!!
As a kid it was a compulsion for me to go to the post office to pick up inland(for those who have a short lived memory,inland is nothing but a sky blue sheet of paper,folded in a pattern with a govt of India seal,which was used till the late 90s as a mode of written communication).My father used to be posted away from us and hence we had a strong relationship with the nearest post office.My mom had such a great intuition and am still not aware how she could predict that there would be a letter on this particular day of the week.I used to buy 12 inland for the month,6 to my father and rest to our relatives.When we used to get back from school,we used to wait for his letters and he would make us feel more happier by addressing the letter to us,which thrilled us more even.Money used to be sent by him by Money order for which the postman used to get a bakshish of Rs.5 every month apart from other festival days.In the villages of kerala,i have seen people flocking into the post offices to collect letters/money orders from the near and dear,because they realise that by the time the post man would reach the adresee,couple of days would have gone past.I admire the distance and the kind of terrain they would have had to cover in a place like kerala or for that matter any interiors of indian villages.Slowly these small communication hub seems to have had a natural death.Its so unfortunate that the govt hasn't taken initiative to either privatise or evolve these hubs into futuristic centre for communication.Last heard about Post Office was that they are selling air tickets.This blog is a tribute to one of the largest postal services in the world.
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
"Cost To Country"
I was shocked to read the headlines yesterday,40-50% hike in salaries for all the central govt employees.Iam glad that the defence force would be benefited a lot out of this,but in the same breath i would also express my discomfort to the other babus of the country for being paid without any valuation of their performance.
Its always been believed that new breed of MNCs and the Private sector employees are subjected to an impeccable assesment based on CTC(Cost To Company).The moment an employees CTC out weighs the benefits the company derives from the employee,the employee is ousted.CTC takes in account of the pay and perks,office vehicle,office stationery that the employee may be using for personal use.
To make the babus of our country more accountable,the public sector should also be made to adopt the CTC formula-"Cost To Country".In this case this case babus will not jus pay,DA,subsidised housing etc..but also importantly the costs incurred by the delays caused by bureaucratic inertia or inefficieny.
What we need now is a larger audit of our babus,not jus blame but also to identify and reward,praiseworthy performance using the "Cost To Country".
Its always been believed that new breed of MNCs and the Private sector employees are subjected to an impeccable assesment based on CTC(Cost To Company).The moment an employees CTC out weighs the benefits the company derives from the employee,the employee is ousted.CTC takes in account of the pay and perks,office vehicle,office stationery that the employee may be using for personal use.
To make the babus of our country more accountable,the public sector should also be made to adopt the CTC formula-"Cost To Country".In this case this case babus will not jus pay,DA,subsidised housing etc..but also importantly the costs incurred by the delays caused by bureaucratic inertia or inefficieny.
What we need now is a larger audit of our babus,not jus blame but also to identify and reward,praiseworthy performance using the "Cost To Country".
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
My Obssesion for Glasses
I wonder how someone could say, 'Men dont make passes with women who wear glasses'. I think its a very generic statement. Atleast I dont fit into that generalisation. In fact , i feel its the contrary. I get attracted by them.!! Infact when i met my wife for the first time my improptive question was, do you wear glasses? She replied in the negative and said i wear lenses!! And that was enough for me,unlike other men i was forcing her to buy a pair of glasses and do away with her lenses!!I always felt that it adds class and charm in women!! After 4 yrs of marriage i have already realised that glasses are just glasses and can be used for only enhancing the visual power and nothing more!!Hence now my wife has moved back to lenses,but my inclination towards the women with glasses remains!!.And I turn back at least once if an woman wears glasses. What makes me do that, I don't know. .Today my little sister also has started wearing glasses and that prompts me to write this post,hope it adds to her beauty!!
Maids Are Made In Hell
Our son was born in the month of June 2005.From the day he was born our hunt for the maid for baby sitting started,daily browsing through newspaper/Internet,calling up agencies etc.After 3 months we found a lady at mid 40"s seemed ok,she was a tamilian working in kerala.And since then started our tryst with maids! Everything was discussed and we had a deal for Rs.3500/-month +stay and food at our place.She was picked up from Cochin by car to Bangalore.The day she came she felt sick and was taking rest the whole day.As days passed she started getting phone calls form home and one day she said she has to leave home immediately.The same day she was dropped at the bus stand by car with paid tickets to her home town.She promised to come in couple of days but later she continued her holiday for next one week.During this time either me or my wife had to be at home.Similar instances continued and we had to take a break from work quite often than before.During one of such usual trips of hers she decided not to return back and she sent her resignation through a phone call.Here we are back to square one.After that we have had quite a few and the last one has just left for a holiday for 2 weeks!And there goes my sons to his grannies place back to kerala!! These maids are the most self fish and completely uncouth lot! Sometimes i wonder is it worth the effort that we are putting in for the kind of hardship we and our kids suffer!
Viewpoint:Kids get in to adaptable mode from the day they are born,it could be the place/people/culture/language/food or anything!!
Viewpoint:Kids get in to adaptable mode from the day they are born,it could be the place/people/culture/language/food or anything!!
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Malayalam-Hindi style
I have observed at various instances and at various places about how a mallu tries to be a Hindi speaking mallu,and this mostly happens with only mallu women.I seriously don't understand what fancies them to hindi language/men?May be its the SRK syndrome!!I know women born and brought up in kerala who have specific conditions when it comes to selecting their groom ,
The heights is that these words are used amidst pure Malayalam/English sentences by people who have been either born and brought up in some part of north India for couple of years,which is still acceptable or there is one more set of people who would have never crossed the border of kerala but would have grown with chitrahaar and Saturday Hindi movies and some north Indian friends in their colleges and they use these words as style/attitude and what not!!I completely get irritated by such usage,i abhor the fact of (con)fusing language especially when the person can speak the same in their mother tongue!!Am ok if they speak in Hindi and stick to it instead of making a cocktail out of their mother tongue and national language!!
Viewpoint:Lets carry forward our language and culture with utmost purity to the generations to come!!
- Guy should be clean shave
- He should watch Hindi movies
- He should be able to converse in Hindi
- Should resemble a north Indian
- Jeeju
- Bhaiya
- Bhabi
- Deedi
- achha
- Ek second
- Jhadu Pocha
- Mota moti
- Mehendi
- han ji
- Baap re
- Kaam wali
The heights is that these words are used amidst pure Malayalam/English sentences by people who have been either born and brought up in some part of north India for couple of years,which is still acceptable or there is one more set of people who would have never crossed the border of kerala but would have grown with chitrahaar and Saturday Hindi movies and some north Indian friends in their colleges and they use these words as style/attitude and what not!!I completely get irritated by such usage,i abhor the fact of (con)fusing language especially when the person can speak the same in their mother tongue!!Am ok if they speak in Hindi and stick to it instead of making a cocktail out of their mother tongue and national language!!
Viewpoint:Lets carry forward our language and culture with utmost purity to the generations to come!!
Love-One sided!!
I'm not begging you to love me.
I'm not really even asking you.
But, isn't it alright
If I cherish that hope in my heart?
If I dream of just holding your hand,
It will hurt me - not you.
I will try to keep my eyes from shining
When they see you.
And I promise
I will try not to smile a special smile
When you say hello.
but, please
Don't ask me
Not to love you...
Messages.......
TEN EMPOWERING MESSAGES TO TELL YOURSELF DAILY
1. Trust your instincts
2. Do your best
3. Count your blessings
4. Less is more
5. Monitor your thoughts
6. Acknowledge others often
7. Ask for help when you need it
8. Rest in solutions
9. Attitude is everything
10. Stop and smell the roses
Viewpoint:Let these messages create for you a supportive and positive mental environment that will shape your attitudes and behaviors for success, and guide the actions you choose to take.
Idly chutney and the concoction!!
Iam always branded to be a critic in the family for any kind of food being served.It could be a tea or a full course of dinner.I always had an opinion on every dish that is cooked.I and everyone in our family rate my mom as the best cook under the sun.Till the time i was exposed to outside food,i always had a preconcieved notion about certain dishes and any variance from them,was not accpeted by me.Even the prepeation of curd or the dough should exactly match the way my mom made else i would never even taste it.Even now my idea of idly/dosha or chutney is no different from what my mom cooks.I have been to the best of south indian restaurants with loads of expectation and then to find that the food is not at all upto the mark of my tastebuds!!
She always had the masterpiece of her hot piping idlys with coconut chutney and a concoction of shalott and red chilly with coconut oil.I would forgo anything for this piece of food.I haven't had any better combination from others except from my aunt back in kerala.Having lived out of home for last 16yrs and have had variety of cuisines from different corners of the country,my taste buds still yearn to have the food cooked by my mom!!
Sometimes i wonder after my moms time...there would not be anyone to carry the legacy forward and her dishes also will get extinct by time!! I feel sorry for the next generation in our family for not being lucky to have tasted her cusine.
She always had the masterpiece of her hot piping idlys with coconut chutney and a concoction of shalott and red chilly with coconut oil.I would forgo anything for this piece of food.I haven't had any better combination from others except from my aunt back in kerala.Having lived out of home for last 16yrs and have had variety of cuisines from different corners of the country,my taste buds still yearn to have the food cooked by my mom!!
Sometimes i wonder after my moms time...there would not be anyone to carry the legacy forward and her dishes also will get extinct by time!! I feel sorry for the next generation in our family for not being lucky to have tasted her cusine.
Living out of a Bag
Since last 16yrs i have been living out of one travel bag ,in between as an incentive i was blessed with the privellege to live at home post marriage.My life with a bag started from my
College days-cochin
Cadbury-Hubli/mangalore/Chennai
Espn-Cochin/Tirupati
Spice telecom-Gulbarga
Sify-Bangalore/cochin/Chennai /Mumbai
Bharti-Chennai
Lc-Bangalore
The biggest advantage of living out of a bag is that you can acclamatise to any kind of extreme places,from missing the train and sleeping in the station at Hubli to comfortest stay at the 5* hotels in various cities. This gives you a broader outlook towards life and you start getting adjusted to anything and everything .And thats the secret of my happy marriage ;-)
Viewpoint-Rolling stone Gathers (no) Mass??!!
College days-cochin
Cadbury-Hubli/mangalore/Chennai
Espn-Cochin/Tirupati
Spice telecom-Gulbarga
Sify-Bangalore/cochin/Chennai /Mumbai
Bharti-Chennai
Lc-Bangalore
The biggest advantage of living out of a bag is that you can acclamatise to any kind of extreme places,from missing the train and sleeping in the station at Hubli to comfortest stay at the 5* hotels in various cities. This gives you a broader outlook towards life and you start getting adjusted to anything and everything .And thats the secret of my happy marriage ;-)
Viewpoint-Rolling stone Gathers (no) Mass??!!
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